Do Not Move To Canada

Here’s the thing; you could totally move to Vancouver. Vancouver, I hear, is a very lovely place, if a little soggy. It’s on a coastline, so that’s nice, and there are mountains nearby, if you like those sorts of things, and then you can visit Seattle if you’re hankering for some sort of American Big City things like huge restaurants that serve potato skins and blooming onions and deep-fried, bread-crumb-coated cheese fingers to dip into high-fat Ranch Dressing (made of real Ranches!), and bike around and enjoy mass transit and smoking in bars and all the sorts of things we here in America simply suck at.
You can also escape to Canada if you’re feeling sick-to-death and up-to-here with a regime in Washington that seems intent on despoiling the Earth’s resources and burning fossil fuel until we’re all burned to crispy toast pillars by ozone holes and greenhouse gasses, as well as building up the military to an extent unknown in the modern world, and let’s see… oh, yeah, the deficit. A financial burden so huge and so unwieldy and so, just, unbelievably insane that there’s no way we could actually pay it off even if we could all come up with an extra ten grand somewhere or other. Maybe that $400 tax credit might help, but no, I have no children, so I’m fucked.


Um, so then there’s the limitations to personal privacy, there’s the Ashcroft freak-o fanatic who can’t stand to look at nipples on statues, there’s the Vice President whose heart, so I have heard from reliable sources, is made of inky black tar. And, of course, it goes without saying that we are saddled with a President who cannot speak without mangling his words, who cannot explain without using lies, who cannot tolerate questions from the press, and who wants to blame others for his mistakes. Now that, friends, is a leader.
So, sure, you can move to Canada.
But don’t.
I hear that a lot lately, and I’ve even said it jokingly myself. “If things get any worse, I’m moving to Canada.” Where, at least, I could get married if I wanted to, but that’s another tale already told. The reason I do not want you to move to Canada is because in a little over a year, we can vote all the sons of bitches out.
There’s the smell of defeatism in the air. Hell, I live in one of the most liberal cities in the world, let alone in America, and even in San Francisco people are becoming convinced that the way the country is moving, that the intolerance and fear-mongering and insane deficit military spending and religious government beaurocracy and, above all, the weird drive to “return America to its roots” which, if memory serves, was a place where racism was A-OK and women stayed home to raise families and cook meals and not think and homos (and suspected homos) were beaten to a pulp and everything was “simpler” but only as that word is used as the root of ‘simpleton,’ is the way things are and that there’s nothing anyone can do because some loud-mouthed, small-brained, wrong-thinking minority of the population has suddenly discovered that if it complains loudly enough and watches enough TV and participates in public discussions and gets off its ass and fucking does something, things will move in its direction.
Well, friends, that there is a two-way street.
Where is the anger? Where is the frustration? Where is the voice of reason and clarity in this land? Is everyone so convinced of Bush & Co.’s power that they actually want to allow them to have their way with the country and the world? It’s OK that he trashed the Kyoto Treaty, and continues doing so, and that we will all live unhealthier lives because of it? Is it fine that he wants to trash the Constitution and fix it so that unless you want to get married to produce children, you cannot ever get married? That’s the biggest problem that needs fixing? Not poverty. Not illiteracy. Not hunger. Not AIDS. Not the environment. Not crime. Not racism. No, it’s a fear of fags getting married that prompts the President of the United States to start fixing the Constitution.
I am not a political activist by any stretch of the imagination. I think talking politics is about as fun and sexy as popping blisters between my toes. It’s easy to feel powerless and defeated and voiceless, but we (the sane people) need to remember to raise our own voices when things are insane, as they are right now.
We need to take the power back. We need to call for accountability and justice. We need to pull back the veil of secrecy that this administration keeps using to cover-up its agenda and make sure the world knows that we, as Americans, do not all approve of the stupidity and ignorance happening in Washington.
It’s easy to give up. It’s time to get fed up. It’s past time. They’re using tactics designed to scare, humiliate and intimidate. They don’t want to talk issues, they want to talk personalities and blame and past indiscretions. Fine, let’s talk about that. Let’s see how many lies add up to where we are now. Let’s see why we’re in a war, or is it two, and sure it’s well and good that dictators are deposed and the meek inherit, but what, in this case, do the meek get, exactly, and when?
Patience? Patience is at an end. I live in a state where a rich Republican managed to get enough signatures to recall a governor who has broken no laws and done nothing to disgrace his office, yet there were enough cry babies on the right to be able to get California to spend millions of more dollars (which, I should not have to point out to them, we do not have) to hold a special election to choose between Gary Coleman, Larry Flynt, Angelyne and, horror of horrors, Ahnuld “No I do not dye my hair and I have never taken steroids, either and no chicks ever sucked my dick when I was in Hollywood” Schwarzenegger (like I’m ever going to be able to spell that correctly) among, like, 80 other candidates in the laugh track to end all laugh tracks because, yes, we actually do live in a banana republic, and not the kind with the stretch T-shirts and the awful belts, either.
It’s time this all stopped. It’s time that intelligence had some value rather than money and aw-shucks faux humanism and shooting from the hip diplomacy. I’d even settle for a Republican who could spell at this point. George W. Bush was the best they could find? The man can’t form a cogent sentence. The man doesn’t know what ‘cogent’ means!
Do not move to Canada. Stay here. Band together. Get rid of idiocy and reactionary imbeciles and war-mongering oil hounds and fucking take the country back! The whole world thinks we’re stupid and mad and hungry for destruction and doom. Prove the whole world, and the rest of the country, wrong.
Give sanity a chance.

Related links:
Is lying about the reason for a war an impeachable offense?
Excerpt: To put it bluntly, if Bush has taken Congress and the nation into war based on bogus information, he is cooked. Manipulation or deliberate misuse of national security intelligence data, if proven, could be “a high crime” under the Constitution’s impeachment clause. It would also be a violation of federal criminal law, including the broad federal anti-conspiracy statute, which renders it a felony “to defraud the United States, or any agency thereof in any manner or for any purpose.”
Anger at US climate retreat
Excerpt: The Kyoto Protocol commits 38 industrialised nations to cut their emissions of the main gases produced by human activities, which are blamed for climate change. By 2012, they would have to cut emissions by an average of 5.2% on their 1990 levels, and the US by 7%. The US is responsible for about 25% of global emissions of carbon dioxide (CO2), the main pollutant covered by Kyoto.
Faith-based Fudging
Excerpt: So, how did the Penn study get perverted into evidence that InnerChange worked? Through one of the oldest tricks in the book, one almost guaranteed to make a success of any program: counting the winners and ignoring the losers. The technical term for this in statistics is “selection bias”; program managers know it as “creaming.” Harvard public policy professor Anne Piehl, who reviewed the study before it was published, calls this instance of it “cooking the books.”
Persuaders or Partisans
Excerpt: The liberal papers criticized the Clinton administration 30 percent of the time, while the conservative papers slapped around the Bush administration just 7 percent of the time. The liberal papers praised the Clintonites 36 percent of the time, while the conservative papers praised the Bushies 77 percent of the time. One more set of numbers: The liberal papers criticized Bush 67 percent of the time; the conservative papers criticized Clinton 89 percent of the time.
Setting It Right
Excerpt: The 2001 winner of the Nobel Prize for Economics, George Akerlof, went even further last week in Germany when he told Der Spiegel, “This is the worst government the US has ever had in its more than 200 years of history…This is not normal government policy.” In describing the impact of the Bush policies on America’s future, Akerloff added, “What we have here is a form of looting.”

August 7, 2003

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