For a Phone

Somewhere on the Web, I have no doubt, some guy is writing or has written or will be writing in his blog about the dick in line at the Apple store on Stockton in San Francisco who was Mr. Goody-Goody Tattletale and refused to keep his mouth shut when all he wanted to do was sneak into the iPhone line inside the store instead of wait outside on the street for three-and-a-half hours like everyone else wanting to get a stupid iPhone that doesn’t even have a keyboard and fuck them!

Friends, I am that dick.

I love my old iPhone, but it was slow as molasses in January, as me old mother used to say. I use it primarily as a hand-held Internet appliance that happens to have a phone in it. The phone piece is probably the part I use least, but the phone part also has the SMS part, and the voicemail part, so from a business perspective it was an important part of the package. And I occasionally called people on it when I wasn’t looking at maps, searching Google, listening to music or watching movies I ripped from my extensive DVD collection.

I didn’t really want to wait in line. I didn’t really need a new one, yet. But I happened to be downtown, I happened (just happened) to pass the Apple flagship store and I happened to note that the line wasn’t around the block, it was only a couple hundred people long. So short! And I have some time. Why not?


Waiting in line wasn’t the party they portray. Downtown San Francisco is many things, but a holiday in paradise while standing on its streets is not one of them. I did converse with those around me — against character, to be sure, but what else was there to do once the battery on my existing iPhone died and I could no longer play Scrabble against it? The woman ahead of me had a Sprint smartphone, but after playing with an iPhone at another Apple store she was hooked and she had to have one. She was probably my age, but wore dark glasses the entire time so talking to her was a bit like talking to a nice, polite, slightly amusing robot. No eyes = no person.
The woman behind me was a young Asian who, like me, was there to upgrade her iPhone to the latest and greatest. We both stood there for the most part with our phones drawn passing the time with messaging or gaming or musicking until the batteries died and we were forced into the world of personal contact. She was animated and talkative and excited. She had been looking forward to getting the new iPhone ever since Sir Steve announced it and was happy to answer every “is this the line for the iPhone?” question (tinged either with regret or attempted condescension) with a smile and a nod and a “Yeah, we’ve been here three hours!”

Apple did its best at crowd control, keeping two lines outside the store. One for iPhones, and a much shorter one for “everything else.” People in the everything else line were allowed in much more often, obviously, and I’m presuming that every one of the people in the iPhone line with me was thinking the same thing I was thinking: “How are they keeping them separate from us?”
The line moved incredibly slowly. I started imagining all sorts of line-cutters inside the hollowed grounds. There were plenty of Appleites in orange and blue shirts, and even two burly, bulky Apple Security guards trying to enforce the rules, but it’s only a store and we’re only customers and it’s not like we’re in line for food in the middle of a plague. We’re well-off nerds wanting the newest expensive toy. All in all, it’s not such an important thing.

But three hours in, your brain gets skewed and you start bargaining with yourself regarding just how much you’re willing to go through to get something that will surely be readily available sans line in a couple of weeks, if not sooner. Maybe the original iPhone was worth this. It was groundbreaking, it had definite panache and the nerd factor of product jealousy was eclipsing anything else you could pull from your messenger bag.

You start getting paranoid and scared. Scared that you’re an idiot for not figuring out a way around the line. My comrades and I commiserated about that often. “What about that other line?” “Yeah! How are they policing that?” “Yeah! And what if they go in and like, say, ‘I just want an iPod,’ and then, like, get to the counter and go, ‘Can I throw in an iPhone?’ Like, what are they gonna say at that point? ‘No, you can’t?'” “I’ve been watching, and I can’t tell if the people coming out with iPhones are from this line or that one. I wish they’d give us poker chips or something so they can keep track.”

The other pressure cooker adding to the paranoia and defensiveness is an unending litany of jokes at our expense pointing out how stupid we were to be standing in line, “for a phone! It’s just a phone! Don’t you have better ways to spend your time?”

Well, yes Mr. Overweight biker dude with your earpods stuck in your ears and a Super Gulp hanging from your slack lips. Yes, I do. But I’ve elected to do this instead, so that I may provide for people like yourself some manner of elevating your little lackluster life, to imagine yourself as someone better than me, because I am wasting my time standing in line for the iPhone (and I even already have an iPhone) and you’re not. Better now?

So, the interminable line outside comes at last to an end, the Apple Security guard walks over and counts “One, two, three, four, five,” and I am lucky Number Five, allowed access at last to the inside of the store. I have been imagining that I will now walk up to a special glittery counter with spotlights and angelic music and be allowed to touch the object of my desire at last.
Instead, I am now at the end of another line. Much shorter, certainly, but also much crueler, for now I can see others getting their phones (including that fucking couple of Yuppie slackers who joined their friend at the front of the line at the last minute after, no doubt, hanging out at Citizen Cupcake gobbling chocolate frosted baked goods while laughing and pointing at us) and my feet hurt and my shoulders are aching and even now, so near the end, I’m asking myself, why did I do this? Is it all worth it? Am I the idiot, now?

I am contemplating this, sinking into a sudden round of pre-buyer’s regret or something like that, when I turn around and find a stranger standing behind me. Certain, he is nothing at all like the young Asian girl I was joking with for precious hours of my life. And the game commences.

“Are you standing in line?”

“Yeah.”

“Were you standing in line behind me outside for three and a half hours.”

“Yeah, I was.” Grin.

He stares at me. I instantly hate him. A lot. I hate everything about his self-congratulatory smart-assed grin and his cheating little heart and his idea of how life should work for him, where he can outsmart us all and get what he wants and get away with it. “No, you weren’t.”

“Yeah, I was.”

I point out to the front of the store. “She was behind me in line. You weren’t.”

“Are you gonna tell on me?” He asks this while still grinning that grin. I want nothing more than to kill him with something sharp.

“I am.” I start looking for someone to tell.

“How does it hurt you?”

I look at him like he’s insane. “I waited for hours. You didn’t. If you want one, that’s what you have to do. You don’t wander into the front of the line.”

“How does it hurt you?”

He’s trying to show that I shouldn’t care about anyone else. Like he does. “It hurts her. It hurts everyone behind her. Look at her. Turn around and look at her. She’s the one standing outside with her arms folded across her chest.”

He doesn’t turn around. He’s still grinning. I’m feeling adrenaline pumping through me. I feel shaky and hot and angrier than I have in, like, ever. She’s standing out in the line frowning as I argue with him. I start waving my arms to get someone’s attention. Where are all the blue shirts now? Why does no one see what’s happened? My God, this is important! Someone pay attention!
“So, you’re really going to tell on me.” He says it like I’m the dick. He says it like we’re in this together, him and me, like we’re suddenly pals and this is like school and he’s the cool crowd and I’m the little fat nerd all over again. God, it’s infuriating!

“You bet your ass I am.”

He shakes his head, grinning still, and turns around and leaves the line. I watch him like a hawk as he saunters across the blonde wood floors and exits the store.

I should feel victorious and redeemed, but I still feel angry. How did he do that? Make me feel like the bad guy. I think about the people outside. Did it make any difference, really? Is the line suddenly moving faster, like he was the only bowel blockage? There’s no one, now, to point all this rage at anymore. He’s gone.

I message Robert to tell him what happened. He tells me he loves me even more for doing it. I realize it was against type, for me to stand up to someone, but it was also exactly within my demeanor, because I am nothing if not a stickler for rules.

Another 30 minutes and I managed to get my new iPhone 3G. It’s black. It’s warm in my touch. The Apple employee who helped me was charming and funny and nice and I was surly and tired and just wanted to get the hell out of there. It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t rewarding, and after all was said and done, the 3G doesn’t even work in my own apartment.

But at least I spoiled someone else’s fun! Vindication!

July 15, 2008

82 responses to For a Phone

  1. BenJ said:

    My hero! Thank you from me, and everyone else stupid enough to stand in line for hours to get their iPhone only to continually see ass-hats cut the line at the last minute.

  2. standing up to a dick, doesn’t make you a dick.

  3. Jemaleddin said:

    And I support you 100%.

  4. Flyfisher said:

    Bravo! No way you are a dick. Aiding and abetting dick-like behavior is being a dick. You are the anti-dick.

  5. dvg said:

    We also had to deal with iPhone line-cutters in Los Angeles:
    davidgagne.net/2008/07/13/dg3g/
    The Apple guys were awesome, though, and kicked them out of the store …

  6. Scote said:

    Best story I’ve read today…
    Some people don’t care who they have to squash to get what they want. The person you outed is the same kind of person who drives on the shoulder to avoid traffic and then merges in and out of traffic, the same person who has 50 items in the 12 items lane at the super market; the same person who parks in the middle of two parking spaces in a crowded lot because his car is more important than everybody else’s car.
    Good for you.

  7. Groovymarlin said:

    Good for you, seriously. Too many people (seems like just about ALL people lately) think that the rules don’t apply to them. That they’re somehow above all the petty restrictions and guidelines that make civilized life possible for all of us. Screw those douchebags. You did the right thing.

  8. Dafydd said:

    Yeah. Why do people think it’s okay to put somebody in that kind of situation? Good for you.

  9. Lis said:

    Oh I have totally experienced that “I’m doing the right thing so why do I feel like a bad person” feeling. It’s the worst! You definitely did the right thing and I’m sure this will work out in the karma kind of way. Someday someone will stand up for you, and it’ll matter to you.

  10. Zack said:

    I’m just posting to validate you. Not being flip.

  11. james said:

    did you get the young asian womans number, after having come to her rescue? Doing the right thing is nice, doing the right thing, and getting a “reward” is even nicer.

  12. Jeff Smick said:

    Excellent! You’re *not* the dick in this situation. You’re the better person for caring about the people around you. You should feel rewarded for that. I didn’t stand in line for a phone. That being said, thank you for being a human being and standing up.

  13. Tad said:

    The same thing happened to me at the Milwaukee store. We waited in line for 3 hours, and just as we were entering the store, some guy with slicked back hair and a suit shows up and hovers at the front of the line.
    “Hey, suit. Are you in line?”
    “. . . uhm. . . what’s it to you? Are you that concerned?”
    “Yes, I am. I’ve invested 3 hours of my life in getting this phone and you just showed up.”
    “Are you really that concerned”
    “Yes.”
    And with that, he walked away. I, too, felt like a dick. But only for about 5 seconds. And now I am the proud owner of the best damned phone-type device ever.

  14. Fuck him. You rock.

  15. Youareyou said:

    Heartwarming story! Here was my experience in San Francisco…
    http://webbedfootprint.blogspot.com

  16. Mark said:

    Outstanding job, Sir. And you should feel vindicated; never let an asshole turn you into the second-degree asshole.

  17. Jim Ray said:

    If I believed in hell, I’d be certain there’s a particularly warm corner special for those that knowingly violate the sanctity of The Queue. You, sir, are a god among men for putting this douche in his rightful place.

  18. Erlingur said:

    100% the correct thing to do. I *loathe* line cutters. People meeting up with their friends I can stand (I know I would hate being separated from my friends for hours just because I had to find a parking space) but other than that, *loathing*.

  19. Matt Walker said:

    That guy was a scumbag, plain and simple. As someone that has waited in lines for technology products (mostly games), I HATE persons that try to cut in line. The only thing you could have done to make me respect you more would be to kick him in the nuts.

  20. Ron said:

    You could have let the line-cutter stay and mentioned it to the guy in line who now became the guy after the last guy to receive a phone.

  21. While I would argue that it isn’t the end of the world when someone does this, I can instantly sympathize with you for what you did. I once waited a great many hours outside of a concert hall to get in and see a show, and near the very end of it, a few losers who had just showed up were trying to skip to the front of the line. I blew the whistle really quick and had no remorse when they were forced to go to the very back, which was wrapped somewhere out behind the building.

  22. seth said:

    You are a mensch!

  23. Jason said:

    Well done. “How he did it” was, he made you wonder “Who am I to put my interests ahead of his? Who am I to appoint myself defender of the line?”
    But you did the right thing–because it would have hurt *you* to help that weasel prop up his corroded little soul. If you’d let him cut the line, then every time you looked at your phone, you’d be reminded that you helped a cheater get something he hadn’t deserved because you couldn’t withstand the “allure” of being “cool.” Forget everyone else you helped, you stuck up for yourself and your sense of justice.

  24. Sean said:

    The anxiety and potential regret you felt as the line gets closer to the front is very real. At the soho store in ny they sent people in 1 at a time into a waiting blue shirted employee whose sole responsibility was to deliver 1 person at a time to a waiting iPhone activator. It felt very personal as one got greeted by name and a handshake. And definetel better than the feared “there is going to be more line once i get inside isn’t there ” dread.

  25. Robert Hodgin said:

    Hooray!!! Well done sir. But sad you left out the distraction of the man with but 8 teeth SCREAMING Jesus threats at the crowd. He was amazing.

  26. Brandy said:

    Having sat through 2 lines, for a grand total of 5 hours, (Thanks Apple for telling us No Business Accounts after we waited 2 hours!) to purchase our iPhones and having to deal with Cingular’s asshattery regarding early upgrades – I most definitely cheer your actions.
    I linked your story to my husband remarking, ‘I can’t even imagine what you’d do if someone did that to you’. He immediately replied, ‘Go to jail’.

  27. jon deal said:

    Nicely done.

  28. Andrew said:

    You did well, man. You’ll always feel like a dick in these situations, but anyone with a social conscience will love you for doing the right thing. The dude that cut in line is the dude that talks on his phone in the cinema, or the woman doing her best to humiliate a sales assistant for some trivial or imagined infraction, or the asshole abusing his girlfriend on the train. No-one wants to be the person to intervene, but anyone that isn’t a sociopath will respect the person that does.

  29. harryh said:

    Nice work Lance! I feel the same way about people who shove to the front of a crowded show, squeezing there way in front of people that got there early enough to secure a good spot. Totally irrational, and yet completely rational anger. It’s the worst.

  30. John Kelly said:

    While I agree with everyone else here – you did the right thing, the humanitarian thing, let me share another perspective. I’ve been living in Italy for the last year, where there are absolutely no ‘rules’ when it comes to queuing. The whole deal is that everyone is out for themselves and will happily jump the entire queue if they can. The rationale being that if you’re too much of a chump to say anything to the queue-jumper, then you deserve to be jumped and the queue-jumper is actually just being very smart and daring. If you say something to them, regardless of whether they actually skipped YOU, then you’re the smart and daring one. So as they say in Italy: Fuck that cockhole. Well done.

  31. Tara (Robert's awesome friend in NY) said:

    Mr. Lance, you are my hero. I too hate line cutters. I hate line cutters and cheaters. Ok I hate line cutters, cheaters, liars and people who wear Crocs. I swear…that’s it.
    Anyway, congrats on your new iPhone. I can’t wait to hear how much you love it and how absolutely awesome it is!

  32. [this is good]

  33. Ciaron said:

    Line-cutter or no, Jesus-Fucking-Christ, it’s a telephone!

  34. peterchen said:

    You did the Right Thing.

  35. ugiswrong said:

    You never did answer his question..in fact, you probably absorbed his energy and thus felt angry. Same goes for the biker dude.
    You were sent this people by Universe for a reason, and I don’t think the reason was to feel like an angry hall monitor.

  36. I am going to have a parade in your honor.

  37. Matt said:

    Did you know you site breaks the page down button?
    Since you have that static header at the top, it covers up whatever words are there…..
    This is running Firefox 3 on winxp. I don’t know why I read thru this whole entry, I guess I found it interesting… but it was annoying having to hit page down, then scroll back up a few lines to get the text from underneath the header.

  38. Adam Rakunas said:

    You, sir, are a hero to the people, and that grinning jackhole will be hit by a whale while you will be feted with margaritas and strawberry donuts.

  39. Elaine said:

    Even if you were waiting in line all day for a shit sandwich, he had no business cutting. Good for you.

  40. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
    Martin Luther King Jr.
    Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963
    (good work!)

  41. Tj said:

    I was sitting at a red light in my car, coming home from work when I was rear-ended.
    Not hard, but enough.
    I got out of the car to look for damage to my car. There wasn’t any.
    I looked at the other car. No damage.
    Whew, I think.
    “Hey there,” comes the slurred voice of the other driver. “How ya doing?”
    “Not great,” I tell him.
    He looks at the cars.
    “Ah, no harm, no foul,” he says, swaying.
    I’m worried about damage I can’t see right away.
    “Hey,” he says, “We kinda been drinking…”
    ‘No shit,’ I want to say but don’t.
    “Then why are you driving?” I ask.
    There are two other people with him, one I assume is his son and the other his wife. The son looks to be in his early to mid 20s, sitting behind the wheel.
    “You car isn’t hurt,” he said, starting to get loud.
    The light has now changed and cars are driving around us.
    “I can’t really tell.”
    “Look, there’s no damage.”
    Now the wife is behind the wheel and calls “Let’s go!” to him.
    “There’s no damage!” he says, going back to his car.
    I get back in mine and pull it over to the side. Too fast, happening too fast. They pull in front of me, and I realize I need to get the license plate. I’ve got nothing to write it down with, so I call my own voicemail.
    The wife realizes I’m following her and starts speeding off, eventually going the wrong way down a one-way street.
    ‘No,’ I thought, ‘you didn’t damage my car, but who’s next?’
    I went to the police who put out an alert for the make/model, but said that unless they were in another accident, it was unlikely they would find them.
    I had a professor once who taught me “[Doing] Right is its own reward.” You may not get accolades, you may not get the result you wanted, but you get the knowledge at the end of the day that you did the right thing.
    You can’t buy a better pillow.
    As the Aussie’s say: Goodonya!

  42. llawhsoj said:

    I am marching (nay building a float… wait, building a float holding a marching band) in the above mentioned parade for you! Well done!

  43. or said:

    you really come off like a petty person, esp. the part where some people joined their friends in the line and you fantasize about them laughing at you.

  44. Chris said:

    You worry too much — the world is too full of rude selfish people, and the only thing that stops it all crashing into anarchy is decent people just like you. You did the right thing, and the way you explain it, with the anger and the adrenaline and all, sounds pretty much how I would have done it.

  45. John Keogh said:

    Nice one. I only hope I could have kept my cool like you did. Shame you didn’t wipe the self-satisfied smirk off his face: if he was a cat he would lick himself to death.

  46. “I am going to have a parade in your honor.”
    Oh no, not another line!

  47. Scott said:

    Out here in the Midwest, we just nail their feet to the floor and use ’em as a signpost. That way, we don’t feel like assholes, and they get to do something useful.

  48. Responsibility for the win!
    Now we need more people willing to stand up to loudmouths in theaters, people who litter, and irresponsible parents of all varieties.

  49. Caz said:

    Good on you!

  50. The Pageman said:

    You’re not a dick. You’re a HERO! 🙂 There should be more people like you – whistleblowers FTW!

  51. Lance Arthur said:

    Matt said “Did you know you site breaks the page down button?”:
    Yes, I know that. The design is kind of old, now, and was more a ‘proof of concept’ than a good usability study. The site needs a new ‘do, but I haven’t been able to devote any time or energy to that goal.
    or said “you really come off like a petty person”:
    Yes, I’m an incredibly petty person. For example, I imagine that when you felt compelled to add that comment, you were sitting in front of your computer judging me, misunderstanding my sense of humor, and intent on pointing out my shortcomings and failings as a human being. Oh, and also: laughing and pointing.

  52. Louis said:

    Holy crap! That has to be the best story ever. The details in your post made me feel like I was there. I’m getting worked up just thinking about it. At least he wasn’t one of those people who play dumb. We had someone cut in front of us at a Costa Rica airport in this huge line (not 3 hours, but still…). They decided it would be a good time to pretend not to speak English, and it took us 5 minutes to get them to the back of the line.

  53. Andy said:

    Good for you, you did the right thing

  54. Joe Crawford said:

    Smokey, this isn’t ‘Nam, there are rules.

  55. Sour Grapes said:

    Yes, that guy was a dick, but the real dicks in all of this are Apple. There was no need for any shortages, other than hype. The only reason people had to stand in line at all is because that’s the way the hype works. People like you give them millions of dollars of free publicity, and you still have to pay through the nose for your phone. And the guy you chased out of the store will have the last laugh when he buys his in about five minutes a couple of months from now, after Apple has knocked $200 off the price.

  56. Mark Jaquith said:

    > How does it hurt you?
    Possible answers:
    “Cheaters annoy me.” (true)
    “It hurts me to see you degrading yourself so.” (faux sympathy)
    “It doesn’t, I’m just hoping that someone behind you will punch you.” (faux sadism)”
    ::punch him in the face:: “How does this hurt you?” (actual sadism)

  57. Jerry said:

    One thing I enjoyed about this story is the way you capture tiny layers of humiliation that pile up during the course of contemporary life. Others are focusing on the cutting in line part, but what’s good here is the way you take us from from “ok maybe I’ll wait in line” which seems like a tiny humiliation to the 3g to not working in your apartment, which after everything is not so tiny.

  58. Jerry said:

    One thing I enjoyed about this story is the way you capture tiny layers of humiliation that pile up during the course of contemporary life. Others are focusing on the cutting in line part, but what’s good here is the way you take us from from “ok maybe I’ll wait in line” which seems like a tiny humiliation to the 3g to not working in your apartment, which after everything is not so tiny.

  59. Jimmy Slemboski said:

    “How did he do that? Make me feel like the bad guy.”
    Because you gave your power away my friend. You allowed him to guilt you for doing the right thing. Of course, you may have never come up against such a blatant case of criminal thinking, so perhaps you were unprepared to deal with the lengths to which some people will go to justify their own bad (or law-breaking) behavior.

  60. Tom von S. said:

    I would have done the same thing, I hate self-serving bullshit like that. “Yes, I will gleefully tell on you for being a blotch on the face of society you selfish fucktard”. Just reading your exchange with him pissed me off… I hate that damn “ooh, I’m so cool, I’m getting one over on someone else” shit… what a dick.

  61. Blair Saldanah said:

    I was #8 on the SoHo store grand opening, having been there ALL NIGHT, when some asshat tried to cut to the front. I threw him out on his ear to the cheers of all. I was known as “Rambo” the rest of the day, and got to meet His Steve-ness inside. Good for you sir. More strength to your karma.

  62. Some guy rolled up in a Mercedes just as the store opened and bought a place near the front of our line for $200. This was possible since they actually gave out numbers to those waiting in line. Nobody seemed to mind until his three friends got out of the car and hopped in line with him. At that point people were livid. As their little group got closer to the door I thought we might have a fist fight break out. People were incensed when they entered the store together. Then the three extra guys were promptly booted from the store and the guy who bought the number came out a bit later with a single phone. The line mocking applauded him as he and his friends walked away in defeat.

  63. Jason Sewell said:

    Same thing happened to me last year at the iPhone 1.0 launch at the Short Pump store in Richmond, VA. Dude cuts in front of me during one of the line-switch-progressions. In the *rain*. I told him he ought not fuck around with people who had been waiting in line in the rain for 3 hours. He gave me that same “are you serious?” look, but ultimately decided to leave.

  64. totoro said:

    You did the right thing!
    I also waited on Friday night for about 3 1/2 hours, and got to know the people ahead and behind me in line. As we got closer and closer to the fabled door, you could see people constantly trying to just walk in to the store. Some of them were genuinely confused, and thought the store was open for regular business, and they rather good naturedly moved on. Others were more confrontational with the Apple Geniuses guarding the door (who were the heroes of the night, for sure). And there were two guys who tried to sneak in several times, and got more and more hostile at the Geniuses at each rebuff. It was pretty weird stuff.

  65. Roger said:

    I hate line cutters! The staff at the Apple Store in the Houston Galleria were watching the “everything else” line like hawks. They even had employees escort those folks one-by-one inside the store until they purchased their non-iPhone 3G equipment and left the store. I hope all the other Apple stores are doing this to prevent line-cutters. I would have done the same thing you did.

  66. John said:

    This was just pulling up bad school memories for me. Standing up for what is right, no matter how “important” is the right thing to do. The people in line behind you didn’t know what you did, but that is what a blog is for, and now they do, and they are thanking you without even knowing you.

  67. why said:

    why did I read this? I want my time back. please….

  68. maczter said:

    Bravo. Can’t can’t can’t can’t STAND people that try to cut in line at the last second when others have obviously been waiting patiently for something (exit lane, iPhones, WWDC sessions, etc.). Well done. Someone waiting properly in the line behind you would have been turned away that day were it not for you.

  69. first off, I applaud you for doing the Right Thing. There are certainly times when breaking the rules is fun and rebellious and harms no one; this guy didn’t get that. Which leads me to the answer to his question of “who am I hurting?”
    The answer is: “if you have to ask that, you wouldn’t understand the answer anyways.”

  70. brian said:

    This is what ruined SXSW for me — all the line-cutters, cheaters, sneaks who would walk backwards as if nobody was noticing then suddenly position themselves close up the front of a long line that had been forming for HOURS. Fucking cheaters. Almost as bad as bicyclists who run red lights and stop signs. Wanna bet it’s the same people?

  71. America said:

    Forming an orderly line with a clear set of rules is what separates the civilized from the uncivilized.
    Think of the countries where the people will not stand in line and it will become clear.
    Thanks for fighting the good fight and prevailing.

  72. Lester Bangs said:

    That’s gay.

  73. Chris M said:

    Way to go. I’m glad someone has the guts to tell off those line-cutting scumbags.

  74. rageahol said:

    your doing-the-right-thing is mitigated significantly by the fact that you wasted it in the service of consumerist impulses.
    this must be weighed against how many children’s birth defects you will cause when your phone’s heavy metals leach into the groundwater of the chinese landfill it winds up in.
    was it worth it?

  75. Mike said:

    Yup, similar thing happened to me at same SF store on Monday.. I was the last of a group of 5 to enter the line inside the store…about a minute after we came in some smarmy asian guy started ducking under the “ropes” to get in line behind me…I gave him the stink eye…and he quickly offered me $20…and then $40 if I’d just let him get in line behind me… I just rolled my eyes in disgust and told him there was no fucking way… He skulked off and probably waited to try again after the next group.. Ironically an Apple employee in an orange T-shirt was “guarding” the line 98% of the time… he just craftily saw the opportunity and tried to take it. World is full of losers. Sadly, I’m reminded of that every day….

  76. c_freitag said:

    Very well written! I feel like I was there with you, being the Asian girl. You defended my honour!

  77. Crazy Idea said:

    what do you want, a cookie?
    You did what any of 2 billion guys on earth would do who *have* a pair of testicles. congratulations!
    good grief. you closed-off anti-social San Francisco fashion-humping money grubbers have a lot of growing up to do.

  78. michel said:

    it was a nice story, and you are great. many thanks because you have challenged the grinning dick. I truly understand you.

  79. diskgrinder said:

    I wanted to be at the top of the comments, but someone told me to fuck off down here
    I agreed

  80. bdbd said:

    you did the right thing, Lance.

  81. _sorry_ said:

    i wrote you kind of a rude comment yesterday. no need to point out which one (this is the interwebs, after all, probably not uncommon).
    regardless, I feel guilty. so i wanted to say sorry. i was having a crap morning and needed to vent on someone who reminded me of myself. thats all.
    so yeah: sorry about that, i apologize. have a good day.

  82. Richard said:

    Well done. Both at the Apple store and here in your post.
    The issue isn’t whether he’s a jerk, the issue is what we do when we run into him. I like what you did but I’m not always sure when it’s appropriate to put my foot down on this kind of stuff. Maybe all the time. Maybe not. Your time (and life) are worth something.
    Anyway, well done.

Leave a Reply to Tara (Robert's awesome friend in NY) Cancel reply