Archives for August 2005
I’m contemplating all this while picturing her going Postal, pulling out a shiv and plunging into my back, between my shoulders, as I stand at my kitchen sink trying feverishly to wash her fruit off while she screams “No! No! With your hose and faucet! Use your hose and faucet!” and I am sweating and shaking and say, quietly, “Is that a euphemism for something? Is this sexual?” “Your hose and faucet! Your hose and faucet!”
One has the world�s best culture; the other, perfect weather. Both are dirty, defined by expensive rents, and full of citizens who say their city�s the best. A fair and balanced guide to choosing between New York and San Francisco.… continue reading »
Less how. More why. Not you. The user. Now. Not later. Forget sticky. Think action. Clean. Not empty. Organize first. Design second. Expect accidents. Never assume. Always ask.
I have to admit something to you now that I’ve held inside for a long time because, well, I didn’t think it mattered very much and I was a little embarrassed about it. I mean, I know that you’re my friend and it won’t make a difference to you, probably, and even if it does we could probably still remain friends if we just don’t talk about this one thing, because I’m afraid I just can’t change this about me.
Opening my inbox this morning, I was greeted with the following subject line in a message from our good friendsthe annoying pests at Classmates.com: Time for the West High School Class of 1980 25-Year Reunion, Lance! Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck… continue reading »
“Hey! Hey!” She calls out loudly behind me. I am intent on looking at the Asian women’s shoes, which are remarkably ugly. “Hey, isn’t that sick?”
Tiaan writes: “…I must add that I am not gay, but this is the whole problem. Why am I emailing you then you ask? Well, being able to handle girls is hard enough for me, but I need an expert’s… continue reading »
Anyway, I drank too much vodka, I flashed my privates at a tranny who wanted to see them, I tried to come on to one of my oldest friends and I woke up the next day feeling absolutely dreadful — so as far as I’m concerned the party was a fantastic success and I think everyone had a great time.
As I walked up to the bank of ATMs, one of them was already beeping at me. There was another gentleman using the one to its left and I grabbed a deposit envelope and approached it. There in its money… continue reading »
Just so you know, things are likely to occur more often and be shorter in length from here forward. Big Gulps* will be forthcoming on occasion, as before. I hope you will not be disappointed in me. *They cause headaches… continue reading »