Archives for June 2003

Acid Jazz

Zantac is a tiny pill, and the box warns you that you shouldn’t take more than two in a 24-hour period. I’m a little scared of drugs that are smaller than a Tic Tac but will apparently end your life if you take more than two in a 24-hour period
continue reading

The Gay Agenda, Part 1

Our first guest for Sexual Orientation Orientation Day is Mr. Leonard Smith representing the Heterosexual World Order, sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, The Boy Scouts of America, The Salvation Army and Coca Cola Bottling of Dallas, Texas.
continue reading

(Lack of) Sex and The City

Here, you’re more apt to see children huddled in doorways to avoid the chilling sea air that brings SARS and pollen and dandruff. You’ll see the cabs on fire as people set matches to the upholstery to fight off the drafts coming in from the open windows.
continue reading

The Baggage of Life

So I’ve fallen in love with this extra cute and ever so daring tangerine Mandarina Duck rollaway.
continue reading

Paris in the Toilet

I have pissed on my cat. There, I said it, but let me also hasten to add that it wasn’t entirely my fault.
continue reading

The Gay Agenda, Part 2

As you all know from yesterday’s all-school, mandatory attendance assembly in the cafetorium, every student is required to pick their sexuality. You’ve all heard about ‘the choice,’ and that was it.
continue reading